Please NOTE: As an educator, I’m not opposed to Group Times and I fully understand and appreciate the value they offer in fostering a sense of belonging in a communal sense for children. This article is written so that others might question the experience of Group Times for Neurodivergent children, especially when forced or coerced into participating in such activities in educational settings.

Group Times… WHY?

One of the things about educational routines that I really want to talk about, particularly within early years teaching, is Group Times.

Group times for children in a learning environment can be important and helpful, but – and this is a huge BUT – they need to actually be something that children engaged in them are learning from. Please do note the word “engaged”, because this is very important.

As an educator, I understand that there are some times throughout the routine of a day where gathering the children in a group can be important. Performing a headcount, for example, or practicing an emergency drill with the children. These are times where it may be necessary for the children to be gathered in one sitting.

I use these two examples because – to be honest – they’re the most prominent examples I can think of where you’d ever “strictly” want or expect the children to gather with you in a group.

Any other time, be it to read a story, to sing songs, or to discuss something with the children... you really should be asking yourself what the purpose of that group time actually is. You should also be very much asking yourself if this group time is for the children’s benefit, or your own as an educator. Because quite often it’s not for the children’s benefit at all, it’s about maintaining control – over routines, over activities, over the children.

If it’s primarily about that control, then all you’re teaching those children is that they have to come to your beck and call. This is an act of enforcing authority, not teaching. There’s a very big difference between the two.

This is especially problematic for children who, through no fault of their own, are just not suited to sitting still for long periods of time or paying attention in the ways that you expect them to. This includes their posture, their eye-contact, their means of processing information... everything.

I know that some children really enjoy and benefit from group times, but for the children who don't, the children who it's just not suited to because they're just not predisposed to what's required of any such routine... those moments – no matter how long or brief – are essentially an act of CONFINEMENT, and for them that time can sadly become an experience of not only emotional labour, but often one that’s also an experience of personal condemnation.

I’m talking about the children who, during a group time, are repeatedly asked (or told, which is worse) to sit down, to sit still, to stop fidgeting, to look at the teacher, to stop chatting to their friends, to stop fidgeting (again), to not hold any toy in their hands, to have their legs crossed, to keep their legs still, to stop asking questions, to keep their hands in their lap, to stop looking about the room, to stop tapping, to stop repeating what may have been said, to stop nervously jiggling, and many other things they’re asked to stop doing.

If you found that paragraph above to be a bit laborious to read through, imagine what it’s like for those children to hear these things again, and again, and again... Imagine if throughout these group times the one word that was most directed to you was “stop” or “don’t”. Imagine if that was the routine you had to sit through again, and again, and again.

That's not a welcoming experience for these children. It's one that can very much make them feel anything but part of a "group" because it invalidates who they are. I can tell you from personal experience, having been that child, that it’s EXHAUSTING!

It diminishes you bit by bit, time and again. And I can also tell you that it very sadly sets you apart from your peers and leaves you questioning why you can’t just “do” what the other children do.

If the group time you’ve created with the children involves you having to single out even one child repeatedly, you’re not creating a learning experience for that child – for any of the children – that serves them. You’re trying to create an activity that suits you.

Things to Consider
So, the alternatives? They’re quite simple, really, and they involve you asking yourself the following questions...

Is the Group Time to accommodate the children or to accommodate yourself?
Are you doing it because the children will benefit from it, or simply because it’s part of a routine you want to hold the children to? Because if it’s the latter, that’s a lesson in authority, not one of learning in its own right.

Is everyone actually enjoying what the Group Time involves?
Yourself included, because if it’s only a source of frustration for yourself, imagine how frustrating it is for the children you’re having to bark demands at.

Is the Group Time even appealing to the children?
Again, this comes down to the question of whether you’re holding a Group Time activity for the children, or for yourself. Believe me, if you offer children the choice of whether or not they take part in your Group Time, if it’s something they do want to be part of, they’ll do so freely and organically by joining yourself and the other children of their own accord.

Are the children actually at any risk if they’re not all gathered together?
If the answer is no, then the only thing that’s at risk of being hurt is your pride and sense of control over the environment you’re providing those children.

Does it matter if they all sit in a uniform fashion?
Does it matter if they fidget? Does it matter if they offer you eye-contact? I’m going to answer this one for you... The answer is, No. No it doesn’t. If you think that it does matter, even after reading all this, then this book maybe isn’t for you. And to be honest, you might want to ask why it is that you do teach. Because it may not be for the children themselves.

Things You Can Do
There are many ways that you can make any Group Times (both planned or spontaneous) into much more welcoming and calm activities for the children. Foremost is that you don’t enforce participation. If you allow children a space where they can play while others form a group activity, you not only create a more welcoming space for those who do choose to participate, but you also provide a welcoming space for those children who choose not to join in. As I said, if children want to be a part of what the Group Time entails, if their interest in it is organic and of their own choosing it not only promotes a calmer environment, but it also informs you of how engaging that activity is.

Fidget aids are also a wonderful way to accommodate children in a group setting, be they Neurdivergent or otherwise. When teaching in any room that involves the use of Group Time activities, I personally make a point of offering the children – all of them – something that they can hold in their hands. These can be fidget toys, plush toys, anything that can be handed out to the children, then returned come the end of that Group Time.

I also want to stipulate here that these should NOT to be used as a bribe or as a means of coercing children to join a Group Time. Any intent such as this only teaches them that they should compromise their own comfort for reward from others, which I personally believe is a very dangerous message to send to children.

In summary
The only thing I can really say further is this... Group Times should be about connection. Connection between the children and their peers. Connection between yourself and the children. Those connections should be ones that foster trust, acceptance and respect.

If that’s not what you or the children are finding from any Group Time, then ask yourself... Why are you doing it?

And how can you do it better?