Meanwhile… 040
While I was growing up, and even now at times, I had a tendency to either cut collars away from my tee shirts or stretch them well beyond recognition if they felt too stifling or close around my neck. And as for sleeve cuffs that are ribbed? Just… no. To be honest they make me angry, absolutely furious.
The commentary of this comic is essentially about the fact that being recognised as Autistic isn’t a means to an end where you’re meant to be “fixed”. It’s a recognition that you’re allowed to prefer having certain things a certain way and that not having so takes a toll that’s much heavier than others might empathise with or understand. Likewise with what you can or can’t do and how that affects your life.
In the case of the analogy used in this comic, being Autistic doesn’t mean that you’re “ruining” a perfectly fine piece of clothing - what you’re doing is making a piece of clothing perfectly fine for yourself. And you’re allowed to do that. You’re allowed to make the concessions that you need to to get by.
What might be an inconvenience or an irritant for those who are Neurotypical can be a literal nightmare for those with sensory issues. Something that for others might be a simple itching sensation can be like loud, angry static in your head that eclipses all else. And if you’re expected to focus on anything else above and behind that static, it is so… damn… tiring.
This is why it’s such a kick in the shins when someone who’s Autistic shares something that they struggle with only to be told by others, “Well, everyone feels that way sometimes.”
Maybe other people do, but the difference - the BIG difference - lies in how they cope, how it affects them and also why.
The expectation that Autistic people can be “conditioned” to get past things that they struggle with is a misguided and dangerous one. Because that struggle isn’t overcome, it just gets buried, it gets hidden - hence the term “masking”. It becomes other things like fatigue, self-loathing, frustration, anxiety, depression and confusion.
And when your life’s already tiring, hiding that only makes it more so.
When I was recognised and diagnosed as being Autistic, to me it wasn’t an opportunity to change who I was, it was a validation that I was allowed to change what I did - to embrace what I need to to be comfortable, to be happy, to be… me.
When someone tells you that they’re Autistic, don’t treat them as though they’re someone that needs to be fixed. And don’t expect them to be anything other than the person you already know. They’re sharing who they are because it’s a big part of “how they are” and they trust you with that.
That doesn’t require change on their part.
It only requires acceptance on yours.
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Continue to Meanwhile… 041